It was not simply fever. Apparently, it was a start of something more serious - dengue!
I know that some would laugh it off. That dengue is only serious among children. I can understand for I shared the same misguided perception about that disease until my brother succumbed to it more than four years ago, Oct 2003, almost two weeks after he turned 26.
That's why this time around, when it was confirmed that I had the same sickness that brought home my brother, Ellis, I was worried. More specially for my family, for Nanay and for Tatay. How could we go through this episode again? Imagine the trauma.
For those who still does not know, dengue has no cure. There is no vaccine. No anti-biotics. When one is confined in the hospital, what the doctors cure is the fever that came with the dengue. If you have colds, they'll fix the colds. If you have coughs, they'll handle the coughs. But not the dengue itself.
It seems that the medical strategy for dengue is - we will fix all the ancillary diseases (eg fever, coughs and colds) so that your body's immune system can focus on fighting the dengue virus. We will also give you so many fluids so that your cells are refreshed and renewed (pardon the simplistic correlation) so that they fight the dengue virus.
(Straightforwardly, is there no cure for dengue or is it really a question of economics? If dengue belonged in the 1st world, as heart ailments and as the illusion that one can be young forever, do you think we could have a vaccine for dengue by now?)
I was given fluids, Vitamin C thru an I.V. and was ordered to drink a lot of water, to eat every hour even if it is biscuit and to rest.
My doctor, Doctor Montalban (an infectious disease expert), said, "... eat even if it would just be a tablespoon of food so that the virus would eat the food and not attack your stomach lining."
For someone who watches House I can understand the suggestion. Viruses has a program but no brain as we understand the concept of a brain. To live they have to eat. That's the program. I think my doctor suggests that I eat almost every hour because she does not want the dengue virus to enter my stomach lining which would give the virus a highway to my whole body. But if they eat what I eat then they will get a free ride towards the toilet bowl = )
I can use humor now but while I was going thru it, it was no laughing matter. It was a matter of life and death.
I praise and thank God that He spared my family a repeat of what happened to us four years ago. I can still see the scene in the ICU as we let go of Ellis. I still remember how it felt, how painful and difficult it was to let go. Machines beeping. Nurses pressing his chests.
What save us is the thought that wherever he went, he went to place where pain does not exist. Where his hair has all grown back to its original adorable curls. Where he is beautiful again. Where he is perfect as his heart was perfect (You know, he sufferred from brain tumor when he was about to enter his high school senior year. God spared him that time and gave us 12 more years with him.)
Enough of the tears... 6 life lessons and 4 thank you notes.
1. We have to know and face the truth before we begin to heal. If I persisted on my impassioned but misguided self-diagnosis that all I had was body clock changes and not dengue, I would not be writing this blog now. I can argue with myself and with the whole world (and win it) that all I had were effects of body clock changes but that would not be true. That would be simply being a hard-head and plain stupid and I would not be writing this blog. Period.
2. For someone trained to solve problems, I have a more personal take on the statement - "When one knows the the real problem we are half way in solving it already!"
3. That nature is honest. Our body is honest. The virus is honest. It has a program. It will follow that program. Period. It is up to the many medical researchers to know what's the program of a virus so that it can be properly be dealt with.
4. On the nature side, it honest too - when we abuse it, we will be kicked in the behind for this abused. Very soon!
5. That life is fragile and at the same time strong.
6. That if you have fever that never went down 38.0C for two straight days, go the emergency room for it is an emergency already. Better be in the side of caution rather than on the side of impassioned hard-headedness. It may cost you your life.
7. Thank you Dra Montalban and to the medical staff of Manila Doctors.
8. Thank you friends, my sisters and brothers in the faith and the School of IE-EMG for your prayers.
9. Thank you Nanay and Tatay. Thank you, Beb for being the worrier that you are. For the prayers.
10. Thank you, Lord! You are faithful!
Monday
Bugsy
I think I was nine when I first saw Mario Puzo's masterpiece - The Godfather. It must have been the slick looking Italians with their Armani suits that did me in. Now, a Godfather DVD collection sits on my video collection.
Because of Godfather I found out what Capo de tuti capi and Omerta meant. And then of course there's Bugsy Siegel.
I really think that without Bugsy and his grandiose idea of Las Vegas, Singapore as we know it now would not have made it.
I mean, what was Las Vegas before it became Las Vegas? A desert! What was Singpore before it became the 16th richest country in the world? A swamp land!
So, all is not lost for the former Pearl of the Orient and currently the recovering sick man of Asia - my beloved Philippines.
All is needed are the cajones of a gangster with a grandiose dream (Bugsy) and the tearful commitment of a statesman (Lee Kwan Yue).... there, how hard could that be? = )
Because of Godfather I found out what Capo de tuti capi and Omerta meant. And then of course there's Bugsy Siegel.
I really think that without Bugsy and his grandiose idea of Las Vegas, Singapore as we know it now would not have made it.
I mean, what was Las Vegas before it became Las Vegas? A desert! What was Singpore before it became the 16th richest country in the world? A swamp land!
So, all is not lost for the former Pearl of the Orient and currently the recovering sick man of Asia - my beloved Philippines.
All is needed are the cajones of a gangster with a grandiose dream (Bugsy) and the tearful commitment of a statesman (Lee Kwan Yue).... there, how hard could that be? = )
38.5
I was sick this Saturday evening to Monday morning. For the first time, I missed my class because I was sick. It was sudden. Did not see it coming. I guess my new schedule this term is making its way thru my body.
It has been awhile since I have to wake up before 6am for a commitment at 7:30am - InfoSys class. The last time I had to go thru that forced waking up was almost five (5) years ago when I was still swimming as a corporate shark.
My body usually wakes up minutes before 7am and I'm on.
The whole episode only made me realize that I am vulnerable. My body was accustomed to a certain pace and when that pace was "changed", the body said, "Wait, Elisier. You don't want to wait. I'm shutting down = ) "
Thus, the 38.5 experience. An unpleasant experience. The last time I was down with fever was more than six years ago.
I guess, if I am to live strong I have to stay strong. Take care of the body. Take care of the relationships. Specially the vertical relationship with the Omnipotent One. Respect what's given us.
But here's the thing. Even in a dazed state - a thought for my beloved motherland found me.
If we try to do something we are not accustomed in doing, we get "sick". But the "sickness" is not a sign to stop but it is a sign that we are moving to a different level. Birth pains = )
It has been awhile since I have to wake up before 6am for a commitment at 7:30am - InfoSys class. The last time I had to go thru that forced waking up was almost five (5) years ago when I was still swimming as a corporate shark.
My body usually wakes up minutes before 7am and I'm on.
The whole episode only made me realize that I am vulnerable. My body was accustomed to a certain pace and when that pace was "changed", the body said, "Wait, Elisier. You don't want to wait. I'm shutting down = ) "
Thus, the 38.5 experience. An unpleasant experience. The last time I was down with fever was more than six years ago.
I guess, if I am to live strong I have to stay strong. Take care of the body. Take care of the relationships. Specially the vertical relationship with the Omnipotent One. Respect what's given us.
But here's the thing. Even in a dazed state - a thought for my beloved motherland found me.
If we try to do something we are not accustomed in doing, we get "sick". But the "sickness" is not a sign to stop but it is a sign that we are moving to a different level. Birth pains = )
Friday
outsourced
The Pearl of the Orient.
During the turn to the 20th century, this is the apt term to describe La Islas de Filipinas. Stories abound about how lush our forest were. How diversified it is. Naturalist were amazed to see such diversification in such a small place. Paradise.
No thanks to the Spanish forebearers and the insuing, then, limitly inspired North Americans, the rich vegatation, like that of Negros, now only can support the life of say sugarcanes - all commerce and shallow roots.
I guess, we Filipinos, never really understand what it means to be blessed with natural resources. We never really understood, much less appreciate and value it. And the most unadmirable thing about this is - we use our hospitality as an excuse.
We see the "seemingly richness and blessedness" everyday and yet our life is at it is. Poor.
Poor?
The crazy, the most unbelievable and the most painful part is - we need the poverty to help us realize how blessed we were once.
Moving forward - the 21st century.
The 21st century manifestation of La Islas de Filipinas lush greens is our native ability to speak in English with ease and with a Western context. That ability is worth so many billion dollars. Enough to build infrastruture that will ensure our competitiveness in the 21st century version of wealth creation - business.
But how many of the those who are involved in the country's BPO spends their money in nation building. No, let's slice it to a smaller piece - neighborhood building or family building? Business building? Soul building?
Or do we still carry that galleon trade induced trait and mentality that allowed the Old World super powers to call us - INDIOS!
I thought the American education already rid us of that trait, of that mentality! Did it?
I welcome the chance to be proven mistaken but how many of our BPO citizens spend their money on other things than movies, DVDs, alcohol, iPod, entertainment system, clothes, car and condominiums?
What's our difference with the farmers of old (and of now) that tilled the land, worked until the harvest came (and until they are old and gray) and never asking if this is the best use of the land?
And in our times and context, what is the best use of our native ability to speak English? Answer phones, wait for the payday and spend it? And then answer phones again... and the cycle continues.
What have we become because of this English-speaking ability? With this gift? Did it curse us? Or blessed us?
It seems that we are all consumers. Little is left for the builders. That's difficult kasi. I mean, with the annual lament on typhoon induced situation, on political bickering and the never ending expose' - who would want to build? Let's party for tomorrow we die = )
So, how different are we in the Rizal-described characters in the 18th century? Does it take another 300 years to revolt? Not in the Bonifacio way but in sense of the 15th century Rennaisance...
Outsourced. Yes, the 1st world did this with some of their low-value jobs. But we are still choosing to outsource a high-value job to them - the right to set a course in nation building. Why? for we are still choosing to be just consumers in the economic dance, not a producer.
So, how different are we with what happened in the many places in the Philippines, like Negros, in centuries past? All commerce and shallow roots.
During the turn to the 20th century, this is the apt term to describe La Islas de Filipinas. Stories abound about how lush our forest were. How diversified it is. Naturalist were amazed to see such diversification in such a small place. Paradise.
No thanks to the Spanish forebearers and the insuing, then, limitly inspired North Americans, the rich vegatation, like that of Negros, now only can support the life of say sugarcanes - all commerce and shallow roots.
I guess, we Filipinos, never really understand what it means to be blessed with natural resources. We never really understood, much less appreciate and value it. And the most unadmirable thing about this is - we use our hospitality as an excuse.
We see the "seemingly richness and blessedness" everyday and yet our life is at it is. Poor.
Poor?
The crazy, the most unbelievable and the most painful part is - we need the poverty to help us realize how blessed we were once.
Moving forward - the 21st century.
The 21st century manifestation of La Islas de Filipinas lush greens is our native ability to speak in English with ease and with a Western context. That ability is worth so many billion dollars. Enough to build infrastruture that will ensure our competitiveness in the 21st century version of wealth creation - business.
But how many of the those who are involved in the country's BPO spends their money in nation building. No, let's slice it to a smaller piece - neighborhood building or family building? Business building? Soul building?
Or do we still carry that galleon trade induced trait and mentality that allowed the Old World super powers to call us - INDIOS!
I thought the American education already rid us of that trait, of that mentality! Did it?
I welcome the chance to be proven mistaken but how many of our BPO citizens spend their money on other things than movies, DVDs, alcohol, iPod, entertainment system, clothes, car and condominiums?
What's our difference with the farmers of old (and of now) that tilled the land, worked until the harvest came (and until they are old and gray) and never asking if this is the best use of the land?
And in our times and context, what is the best use of our native ability to speak English? Answer phones, wait for the payday and spend it? And then answer phones again... and the cycle continues.
What have we become because of this English-speaking ability? With this gift? Did it curse us? Or blessed us?
It seems that we are all consumers. Little is left for the builders. That's difficult kasi. I mean, with the annual lament on typhoon induced situation, on political bickering and the never ending expose' - who would want to build? Let's party for tomorrow we die = )
So, how different are we in the Rizal-described characters in the 18th century? Does it take another 300 years to revolt? Not in the Bonifacio way but in sense of the 15th century Rennaisance...
Outsourced. Yes, the 1st world did this with some of their low-value jobs. But we are still choosing to outsource a high-value job to them - the right to set a course in nation building. Why? for we are still choosing to be just consumers in the economic dance, not a producer.
So, how different are we with what happened in the many places in the Philippines, like Negros, in centuries past? All commerce and shallow roots.
He is the strength of my heart
When it hits, it hits. That sudden feeling and awareness of inadequacy. Well, that's what you get when you want to eat an elephant in one bite.
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